Friday nights through the ages…

10: try to stay up really late without your parents finding out

13: attempt to have a phone conversation with your friend / best friend / ‘friend’ without your parents picking up the phone*

16: revel in the glorious freedom your new driver’s license gives you… by hanging out at the mall

19: go to concert and then cheapest diner you can find because that stadium food is expensive

21: drink a fruity cocktail at the bar while trying not to make a face

25: put together new Ikea furniture before friends arrive to check out your new place

30: nice dinner out

35: consider hiring someone else to put together new Ikea furniture

40: zzzzz

*Before cellphones, most if not all houses had something called a land line. Ask your parents about it.

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Ways to explain an unplanned, unannounced, way long hiatus

Rediscovery of Cadbury Creme Eggs (the ORIGINALS, not those caramel impostors)

Large Lego Project

Steam Sale (went to website for link = more games added to wishlist)

Quality Checking each holiday’s Sweettart gummies

Small Lego project

Finally learning how to play sudoku

YouTube videos about food, video games, cats riding around on roombas, how to make a tiny hot dog grill out of a Mike’s Hard Lemonade can, knitting, cats being jerks to other cats, top ten lists, lifehacks (make a chip bag into a BOWL, eat Cheetos without getting orange all over yourself, peel a kiwi super fast), Legos, bad lip syching, epic rap battles…

Contemplating next Lego project

The Sims

Lost in Ikea

O Christmas Tree…

Dec. 26th: of course the tree stays up until after New Year’s Day.

Jan. 2nd: it’s Saturday… I’m not doing this on a Saturday.

Jan. 4th: I’m pretty sure I have the sniffles.

Jan. 6th: right, let’s do this as soon as I’m done knitting this square.

Jan. 7th: I still have a Happy New Year wallpaper on my phone, so technically it’s still the holidays, right?

Jan. 9th: if only it wasn’t Saturday…

Jan. 11th: if you turn off the automatic timer, that counts as starting to take down your tree.

Jan. 12th: A Valentine’s day tree!

That voice sure can be annoying…

Voice In The Back of My Head: Psssttt….

Me: *continues video game*

VITBOMH: Ahem.

Me: *full concentration needed for perfect score on this level*

VITBOMH: *sigh* I know you can hear me. What a coincidence we’re at the computer.

Me: *perhaps knitting is a better way to occupy time*

VITBOMH: Anyway, I can’t help but notice there are but two days left in October.

Me: *Knit one, purl one. Knit one, purl one. Knit one, purl one.*

VITBOMH: Also that you are NOT going on a vacation in November this year.

Me: *KNIT ONE, PURL ONE. KNIT ONE, PURL ONE. KNIT ONE, PURL ONE.*

VITBOMH: We both know where this is going… National Novel Writer’s Month starts in two days.

Me: *radio obviously needs to be louder*

VITBOMH: THAT’S TWO. A SINGLE DAY AND ANOTHER SINGLE DAY.

Me: *any louder and neighbors may hear. consider possibility of them being Enya fans. turn radio back down.*

VITBOMH: From the obvious lack of outline I deduce we’re once again taking the ‘fly by the seat of our pants’ approach?

Me: *you know, I really need to wash that dish from lunch*

VITBOMH: Could we at least have the beginning of an outline?

Me: *ponder story idea while considering if it’s too late to vacuum*

VITBOMH: THE ONE IN YOUR HEAD DOESN’T COUNT. And seriously… the vacuum? You’re really reaching here.

Me: *if it’s too late to vacuum… maybe it’s time to go to bed?*

VITBOMH: *facepalm*

 

‘Mommy, what would happen if we were here and everyone turned to zombies?’

-Overheard at the MD Renaissance Festival

This started an amusing thought process on the long trek over Ye Olde Fields to my faithful chariot Sir Toyota. I had a pretty good idea of what I would do should the zombie apocalypse happen while I was munching on a scotch egg.

  1. Grab as many scotch eggs as possible. Natch.
  2. Procure wooden sword to whack potential zombies. (Pro Tip: If it yells ‘hey!’ it was just a drunk guy stumbling around.)
  3. Strategically place self to maximize costumed people as buffer zone. Some of them have weapons, others are wearing quickness hindering hoop skirts / five inch heels / corsets tightened a tad too much.
  4. Eat all the sherbet. It’s going to melt anyway.
  5. Consider the climbing wall as a safe haven; laugh maniacally and keep moving.
  6. Blown Glass Distraction:
    • Stop to admire the hand-blown glass.
    • Check fluttering price tags.
    • Ponder what post-apocalyptic currency will be.
    • Curse lack of bottle caps / bananas / gold.
  7. Procure Steak on a Stake: protein + backup weapon = winner. If zombies have overrun SoaS stand, shed a tear and head for Chicken on a Lance stand.
  8. Wait… is that gold over there? <inspection> Nope, shiny fakeness. No currency, but possible use as zombie distraction…?
  9. The water supplies are probably contaminated, so you know, beer. And Mountain Dew. For energy.
  10. Carbs are an important energy source. So… TWO orders of potato wedges. Hey, food supplies are important!

An afternoon at Mount Vernon

So, this is nature. It’s really pretty… is it always this hot?

I hope that huge steer with minotaur horns doesn’t find out I went to Fogo de Chao last night.

Let’s walk down this nice, wide, flat, well-maintained path through the woods. Perhaps it shall be only 108 in the shade.

Whee! I’m hiking!

Wait, what is this incline doing here.

THIS INCLINE IS NOT THE MAP.

Time for a water break with my new friend Mosley the Mosquito.

When out and about, one must have goals. My goal is that vending machine in the distance.

It’s a vending machine full of sunblock and band aids. A definite sign it’s time to find some a/c, which according to the map is up these stairs.

Oh my gosh how many stairs are there?

NO REALLY… HOW MANY STAIRS ARE THERE?!

Stop by visitor center for a drink. Forget water. I have earned a diet soda.

On the way home contemplate admitting nature is really not so bad.

Except for Mosley.

My day according to my phone’s power bar

The Full Bar: Tunes for the road, games for lunch, research for blog posts, check the weather because… why not, download an app you’ll take off tomorrow, text like a mad thing, etc.

The Mighty Three Quarters: I could watch a movie!

The Bar Is Half Full: Let’s switch expectations from ‘movie’ to ‘YouTube’.

The Bar Is Half Empty: How did that happen? I only watched a few YouTube videos?! (Wait, what time is it?)

It’s Not Red Yet: OneA couple of…. I’m sure a few Ticket to Ride game(s) won’t matter.

20% Message of Warning: Okay need to conserve energy here. Only check things that are absolutely necessary. Like my Sims.

10% Message of Doom: WAIT. It was at 20% FIVE MINUTES AGO. All I did was VERY RESPONSIBLY send my Sims to work. Okay, deep breath… I can still get directions. I can still get directions. I can still get directions.

Nononononononononononononononono: HOW WILL I GET HOME WITH NO MUSIC IN MY CAR.