The server brings you iced tea right when you sit down. No matter which server it is.
You get a little panicked when they take you to ‘a different table.’
They recognize you at the grocery store…
… And check to see what food you actually buy for your house.
You take a picture of your plate, then realize you already have one of the same dish.
You know the name of the owner…
… And he shakes your hand when he seats you.
They’ve stopped bringing over the oil and vinegar, because they know you never use it.
Your server’s recommended desserts list? The ones she knows you’ve tried.
Your friends are coming for dinner on Saturday, and on Thursday morning you’re wondering if three visits in a week is too much.
Lessons learned during a book signing:
- Standing in line for three hours makes your feet hurt. A lot.
- Two cookbooks are heavy. Four cookbooks make you want to cry. Four cookbooks, two water bottles, and a purse make you question your life choices.
- No matter where you are in line, the two most annoying people at the event will be right behind you, singing along to pop songs from their iPod and discussing whether or not they will scream when they see Bobby Flay.
- The shopping list in your head loses a few items for every twenty minutes in line. Tomorrow’s lunch will be random fruit and peanut butter crackers.
- Bobby Flay will have been sighted at least nine times before he actually comes through the door.
- Most of these sightings will occur at the same moment you’ve decided to finally go use the restroom.
- Your phone must be fully charged. By the end of the day it will have checked Facebook 54 times, texted people you haven’t talked to since last Christmas, and played around 67 games of Fruit Pop. An hour.
- Your place in line is where people need to get through no matter where they are going.
- You have spent the entire day thinking of something witty to say to Bobby Flay. You open your mouth and ‘…..’ comes out.
- You possess a phone that takes great pictures. Most of them will look like this:
All kidding aside, I am actually really glad I went to this event. While it wasn’t exactly what I would call ‘fun’, at the end of the day I walked out of the store with a signed book, some pretty good pictures and material for a post. Worth it? You bet. Again? Well, let’s just say the list of people I’d stand in line to see is a short one.
Many thanks to Mom for being my ‘line buddy’ and keeping me sane today. Also to Bobby Flay for being gracious and seeming like he really wanted to be there (including answering a cooking question from the person behind me).
And especially to the 99% of people who were in line with us… and felt no need to sing.