‘Mommy, what would happen if we were here and everyone turned to zombies?’

-Overheard at the MD Renaissance Festival

This started an amusing thought process on the long trek over Ye Olde Fields to my faithful chariot Sir Toyota. I had a pretty good idea of what I would do should the zombie apocalypse happen while I was munching on a scotch egg.

  1. Grab as many scotch eggs as possible. Natch.
  2. Procure wooden sword to whack potential zombies. (Pro Tip: If it yells ‘hey!’ it was just a drunk guy stumbling around.)
  3. Strategically place self to maximize costumed people as buffer zone. Some of them have weapons, others are wearing quickness hindering hoop skirts / five inch heels / corsets tightened a tad too much.
  4. Eat all the sherbet. It’s going to melt anyway.
  5. Consider the climbing wall as a safe haven; laugh maniacally and keep moving.
  6. Blown Glass Distraction:
    • Stop to admire the hand-blown glass.
    • Check fluttering price tags.
    • Ponder what post-apocalyptic currency will be.
    • Curse lack of bottle caps / bananas / gold.
  7. Procure Steak on a Stake: protein + backup weapon = winner. If zombies have overrun SoaS stand, shed a tear and head for Chicken on a Lance stand.
  8. Wait… is that gold over there? <inspection> Nope, shiny fakeness. No currency, but possible use as zombie distraction…?
  9. The water supplies are probably contaminated, so you know, beer. And Mountain Dew. For energy.
  10. Carbs are an important energy source. So… TWO orders of potato wedges. Hey, food supplies are important!

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