Watching parents and children make impossibly small snowmen in the patch of grass outside my window.

The pre-storm shopping trip:

• healthy veggies = check
• dip to cover healthy veggies with = check
• beer liters of diet soda = check
• non-perishable food items in case the power goes out that you really hope you never have to actually open and eat = check
• sushi = check
• massively expensive items you don’t normally buy (of course I need lobster meat in a snowstorm! it’s protein!) = check
• recovering from the shock of seeing some bread left = check

Long video game sessions.

A socially acceptable excuse to stay in your pj’s as much as possible and go nowhere near the outside.

Cheetos as a food group.

Yak Trax = no falling on butt in parking lot.

A chance to really clean the house.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA That thing I just said was so funny.

Time to do internet research on important topics like ‘where should I eat after I dig myself out the snow finally melts off my car?’

Avoid calling friends who now live in places where year round ‘snow’ is something that comes in a paper cone with fruit syrup all over it.

Bonus for Snow Day #3:

Contemplating how long it will take you to trudge to the nearest place that:

1. is not your house
2. has food product
3. is not your house

If you were expecting an insightful post from the human that brings me kibble, I am afraid I have to inform you that she is suffering from a condition she refers to as ‘post holiday brain melt’. I refer to it as ‘lazy’. Despite my constant reminders from the moment she entered the door with a bag full of yarn and holiday sale items that will be completely lost and / or forgotten by next November, she immediately fired up the XBox, which means no post is likely tonight.

But fear not, I have taken time out of my busy schedule (four naps on the book today instead of the normal three) to log in and keep you up to date. Now I realize this post might be of a higher quality than you’re used to getting; I would ask you not to mention this to her when she finally decides to return.

I realize that the first thought on your mind is ‘what did His Imperial Highness get for Christmas?’ Here is the answer:

A satisfactory toy, although the catnip seems a bit stale. A rattle or squeaker would have been better, but my human seems to have stopped buying those since optimal play time moved to 2:00-4:00 AM. There is a nice crinkle noise though.

Let’s see, what else. Well, a large amount of white powdery stuff fell all over the outside, leading my human to temporarily forget some words are considered impolite when she looked out the window. I watched several small humans run around in it for reasons I cannot possibly comprehend. I myself find the glare off of it disturbs nap #2.

What else, what else. Well, I found a new bed. It’s a strange one because the entrance is at the top, so you have to really get a good jump going to get in there. But the towels are nice and fresh and there are a lot of them, so you can really get good and settled.

I guess that’s all for now. I really need to get a meal in before my next snooze. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday, and perhaps I shall talk to you again.

Sincerely,

His Imperial Highness Oscar the First

I had a whole post planned (sort of) about Christmas traditions and how much I love them, but instead of coming up with coherent sentences I found myself just looking at pictures I’ve taken this season. I love this time of year and try to pack as much into the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas as humanly possible. It generally means I’m a little burnt out come January 2nd, but it’s totally worth it.

So without further ado, here are some of my favorite things so far in 2013:

I never get tired of light displays. Even when it’s twenty degrees out.

The design is done with floating apples. How cool is that?!

I love historical homes, especially when they decorate with fake food for the holidays!

This tree was my favorite in a display created by children. Candy apples and cookies… I’m sensing a theme here.

Me: Time to write a blog post I think.

My Brain: You’re kidding, right?

Me: It’s been a long time since I’ve posted. People are going to think I gave up.

My Brain: …..

Me: Plus those posts during NaNoWriMo were… festive.

My Brain: You expected me to come up with 50,000 words in one month. You’re lucky those posts weren’t in Klingon.

Me: But NaNo is over, so back to the blog!

My Brain: You do realize those words had to be strung together right? In real sentences. That made sense.

Me: Yes I do. But now…

My Brain: ALL 50,000 OF THEM.

Me: But we’ve got some great strange foods to try and…

My Brain: I DO NOT CARE. AND I AM NOT LISTENING TO YOU. LALALALALALA.

NaNoWriMo & Your Writing: A Guide

soup              Manhattan clam chowder

won’t             will not

SUV               sport utility vehicle

enraged        the anger of a thousand fiery suns

$40               thirty nine dollars and sixty eight cents

blanket         warm afghan with lively squares in the colors of the rainbow

sandwich      bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich with a little bit of mayo

water             refreshingly cold water in a fancy filtering bottle

coffee            premium roasted, piping hot caffeinated beverage the color of ink

cousin           maternal uncle’s cousin twice removed

NaNoWriMo has eaten every spare moment since Nov. 1st.

It has turned my brain to mush.

It has made me stop using contractions.

It has forced me to consider bagged popcorn a food group.

And I love it so.

Yeah, I totally corrected the post below :).

I was on vacation :).

While trying to get myself back into the normal home routine, I watched Ken Burns’ documentary Prohibition. One of the interviewees commented that all you needed to get people to do something was make it illegal. That got me thinking…

Things That Should Be Made Illegal Immediately…

On the Road:

1. driving at least the speed limit in the left lane of an interstate
2. merging into the ‘cash only’ lane prior to getting to the toll booth, but only where the lane demarcation signs start 2 miles before the booth
3. staying in your own lane when you have no reason to merge other than you’re bored with the lane you’re currently in

At the Supermarket:

1. laying bread ON TOP of the canned goods
2. having a maximum of 25 items in the supermarket lane clearly marked ’15 items or less’
3. making sure the container of sushi a customer just bought is right side up in the bag

Life in General:

1. taking your junk mail upstairs to your own trash can / recycle bin instead of throwing it on the ground
2. parking in one space, between the lines
3. free cupcakes