Author Archives: Me, Myself & I

Survival Guide

Posted in In the Country, Out & About by

You are not sure how you got to this point, except that someone you know has described your destination as ‘fun’. You wanted to argue but were a little alarmed at the gleam in that someone’s eye. Now you are on your way to the Maryland Sheep & Wool Festival. Fear not, for the following is a guide for the person who will be carrying most of the bags non yarn enthusiast.

– If you’ve never been to a festival before, upon arrival you may be alarmed that someone is waving you in the direction of a field. They are not suffering from illness; you will be parking in the grass. Please park as neatly as possible; crooked cars get the stink eye from everyone else that has to park around them.

– Like most hobbies, yarn crafts have their own special language. You may hear a sentence like ‘I frogged back my garter because my bulky tension was too loose.’ It sounds like Klingon to you; it makes perfect sense to us.

– This is not a llama, it’s an alpaca. But beware… they both spit*.

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– Yes, it is necessary to touch each and every bit of yarn before buying.

– No, every single booth isn’t manned by someone named Hank. A hank is what that twist of yarn is called (see above re: language).

– You will see people with full size spinning wheels sitting under trees making their own yarn. This is perfectly normal.

– When you see this investigate closely: if the cotton candy is fresh, it’s time for an important decision. How many bags should you buy: one, more than one but less than four, or enough that you need to make a trip back to the car.

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– Do not make baaad jokes. Remember, everyone here is armed with pointy sticks.

– Do not comment on the amount of yarn being purchased, or the amount currently at home. (see above re: pointy sticks)

– When in doubt nod and smile.

Follow these simple rules and you will make it through the day unscathed. Yarn will be bought, cotton candy eaten (and stored for the next day… and the next), and the mysteries of lace knitting solved. You will see sheep, llamas, and rabbits so furry you can’t see thier faces. You will eat lamb and wonder at the irony.

And when ‘next year’ is mentioned, you might not even panic.

*No, I did not learn this by first hand experience :).

My mission… was hopefully not that important.

Posted in In the City, Out & About by

The Spy Museum is a bit of an outsider in DC because it *gasp* charges admission. This probably seems odd if you live, I don’t know, anywhere else in the world. Heck, the Mushroom Museum in Kennett Square PA charged you a few bucks to learn all about how mushrooms grow.  You have to be pretty exciting to get people to fork over money in a town where you can see everything from dinosaur bones to modern art to Fonzi’s jacket for no charge.

I learned some things at the Spy Museum. For instance, I would make a very bad spy. After your narrated elevator ride, you pick a cover story and memorize it. There was one female in my age range, making my choice pretty easy. I stared at the plaque for a while, and then immediately displayed my ability to be identified as a troublemaker by having to check the plaque again when my brother asked for ‘my’ birthday.

Also learned was that no matter how old I get, when faced with a ‘Where’s Waldo’ style puzzle (finding suspicious items in a picture this time) I can’t pass it up. I am happy to say that my brother and I Team BroSis only missed one. I may not remember when ‘I’ was born, but I can sure find a suspicious looking rock!

The trip ended with the Bond Villains Exhibit and gift shop. The exhibit was well presented, but I agree with Dad that the real stuff was cooler. It’s one thing to see movie clips; quite another to watch interviews of real spies. The store didn’t have  lipstick guns or escape kits designed to be hidden in places I won’t mention, but it did have something like this:

That my friends, is what you think it is. A plush mustache. With a mustache. And if there’s a better way to end this post, I don’t know what it is.

Beware the Kite Bomb

Posted in Out & About by

I haven’t been to the Montpelier Herb, Tea & Art Festival in a few years. The first couple of times I went, it rained. A lot. Then the vendors dwindled to a farmer with herb plants, a woman selling magic crystals, and a hot dog stand. But this year I had hope. It was advertised in the Patch, after all, with a proud listing of thirty vendors and an invitation to fly kites! Adding the fact that the weather was going to cooperate, and I thought ‘why not?’

Whenever I go to such an event, I have a checklist of three items to immediately investigate: 1) homemade soap 2) someone selling dip mix 3) hot dogs and/or nachos with plastic cheese. Right away I spotted an objective:

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I am happy to report that both hot dogs and plastic cheese items were to be had. A quick jaunt around the vendors netted me additions to my soap and dip mix stockpiles. This whole process took about an hour (eating included). Yeah, it’s a pretty small festival.

It being such a beautiful day I decided to pull my blankie out of the car and settle down under a tree to play games on my phone enjoy nature. There was no real wind, just a few puffs here and there, but a few people were out with kites. Through some scientific observation I divided them into the following categories:

  1. Kid Powered: wherein a small child runs around like crazy, thereby creating their own wind. This works well until the child in question turns to try and run in the opposite direction.
  2. Mom Powered: Mom tries to get the index card sized kite she just bought to fly while simultaneously interesting a child who is a) lying in the grass b) trying to catch a grasshopper or c) playing with a random beach ball someone else brought.
  3. This Guy:

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I honestly don’t know what he was thinking  He was there all day working on this kite with a five foot span and THERE IS NO SUSTAINED WIND. I actually stayed longer to see if he’d get it in the air. Eventually he did, and it was really cool. Until about thirty seconds later, when it came hurtling to the ground.

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‘Target spotted. Commence dive.’

I don’t know, science was never my strong suit so maybe I’m missing something basic here. But I’m guessing that a kite with its own zip code needs more than sporadic wind sneezes to keep it aloft. The last I saw of him, he was contemplating getting the kite’s line untangled from a tree.

Great weather, crafty stuff, and happy (therefore not crying) kids… now that’s what I call a successful day!

Grain of salt not included

Posted in Lists, Out & About by

Bobby Flay 4.24.13 (9)

Lessons learned during a book signing:

  1. Standing in line for three hours makes your feet hurt. A lot.
  2. Two cookbooks are heavy. Four cookbooks make you want to cry. Four cookbooks, two water bottles, and a purse make you question your life choices.
  3. No matter where you are in line, the two most annoying people at the event will be right behind you, singing along to pop songs from their iPod and discussing whether or not they will scream when they see Bobby Flay.
  4. The shopping list in your head loses a few items for every twenty minutes in line. Tomorrow’s lunch will be random fruit and peanut butter crackers.
  5. Bobby Flay will have been sighted at least nine times before he actually comes through the door.
  6. Most of these sightings will occur at the same moment you’ve decided to finally go use the restroom.
  7. Your phone must be fully charged. By the end of the day it will have checked Facebook 54 times, texted people you haven’t talked to since last Christmas, and played around 67 games of Fruit Pop. An hour.
  8. Your place in line is where people need to get through no matter where they are going.
  9. You have spent the entire day thinking of something witty to say to Bobby Flay. You open your mouth and ‘…..’ comes out.
  10. You possess a phone that takes great pictures. Most of them will look like this:

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All kidding aside, I am actually really glad I went to this event. While it wasn’t exactly what I would call ‘fun’, at the end of the day I walked out of the store with a signed book, some pretty good pictures and material for a post. Worth it? You bet. Again? Well, let’s just say the list of people I’d stand in line to see is a short one.

Many thanks to Mom for being my ‘line buddy’ and keeping me sane today. Also to Bobby Flay for being gracious and seeming like he really wanted to be there (including answering a cooking question from the person behind me).

And especially to the 99% of people who were in line with us… and felt no need to sing.

The internet wouldn’t lie to me… right?

Posted in Food by

So while contemplating this blog, I spent some time amusing myself with post ideas. As you read below The First Post posed a bit a problem, but other ideas were more forthcoming. (In strange places… I’m sure more than one person gave me a wide berth as I snickered to myself while grocery shopping.)

One of those ideas came from the internet, specifically YouTube. There are several people that showcase Japanese candies and snacks, and one in particular I enjoy watching is EmmyMadeInJapan. She’s expanded beyond her local candy store to include foods from other parts of the world. Her viewers send her packages from their home countries, and she munches through them.

I’m sure you can see where this is going. Between EBay, amazon, and the international aisle of the grocery store, I literally have a dining table full of strange food items that seemed like a good idea at the time. Most of them look pretty normal (except for the fact that I can’t read the labels) but a few look… challenging.

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What you can’t see in that picture (very well, anyway) are the words ‘soft & crunchy’. It is a cracker wrapped in seaweed that is both soft… and yet crunchy. Sounds like a commercial for pet treats (come to think of it, they might be pet treats for all I know). Oh, and it expires on May 28th; so you know, no pressure. I’m not sure what possessed me to pick this up, but now that I have it I feel some responsibility to try it. If it ends up tasting as bad as it looks, well… learning experiences, right?

Right?

The First Post

Posted in Randomness by

Hillwood 1

I’ve been thinking about The First Post for a while now. I wanted something grand and imaginative that explained why I felt the need to send my thoughts off into the interwebs. Along the way I came up with plenty of ideas for posts, but nothing I thought was ‘enough’ for The First Post. General observations, eating new foods, top ten lists. None of these ideas made the cut.

Last night I got pretty frustrated with myself, so I thought about why I’m actually doing this. A few weeks ago I went down to the Mall and sat on a bench enjoying a fresh funnel cake while watching families fly kites. It was a beautiful day, I was very happy, and I wanted to share it. I posted it on Facebook, but realized I had more to say. And that’s about the time the idea of this blog came along. Adding to that the awesome excuse to try new things and revisit past favs (‘I really need to eat this giant turkey leg and a drink ale from a pewter mug while watching people walk around in Renaissance costumes. FOR THE BLOG.’) and here we are.

Of course life isn’t always sunny days with cute kids flying penguin kites and puffs of wind covering you in powdered sugar, but often something cool happens when you reach a little outside what you know. Maybe something small, but still. So in the end The First Post hopefully reflects what I want for this space. Nothing fancy or cerebral or following a specific path. Just a journal of sorts, a place to share what I think about what I see. And now I think there’s a cheeseburger in my near future. For the blog, of course.