If you were expecting an insightful post from the human that brings me kibble, I am afraid I have to inform you that she is suffering from a condition she refers to as ‘post holiday brain melt’. I refer to it as ‘lazy’. Despite my constant reminders from the moment she entered the door with a bag full of yarn and holiday sale items that will be completely lost and / or forgotten by next November, she immediately fired up the XBox, which means no post is likely tonight.

But fear not, I have taken time out of my busy schedule (four naps on the book today instead of the normal three) to log in and keep you up to date. Now I realize this post might be of a higher quality than you’re used to getting; I would ask you not to mention this to her when she finally decides to return.

I realize that the first thought on your mind is ‘what did His Imperial Highness get for Christmas?’ Here is the answer:

A satisfactory toy, although the catnip seems a bit stale. A rattle or squeaker would have been better, but my human seems to have stopped buying those since optimal play time moved to 2:00-4:00 AM. There is a nice crinkle noise though.

Let’s see, what else. Well, a large amount of white powdery stuff fell all over the outside, leading my human to temporarily forget some words are considered impolite when she looked out the window. I watched several small humans run around in it for reasons I cannot possibly comprehend. I myself find the glare off of it disturbs nap #2.

What else, what else. Well, I found a new bed. It’s a strange one because the entrance is at the top, so you have to really get a good jump going to get in there. But the towels are nice and fresh and there are a lot of them, so you can really get good and settled.

I guess that’s all for now. I really need to get a meal in before my next snooze. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday, and perhaps I shall talk to you again.

Sincerely,

His Imperial Highness Oscar the First