Vegemite: You haven’t done a blog post yet this week. You’re going to do one now, right?

Me: Have you noticed how busy this week has been?

Vegemite: What busy? Making things in the crockpot? I think you need to stop playing Skyrim and write a blog post.

Me: I am right in the middle of finishing a forty minute quest. Please inform me at once that you are not serious.

Vegemite: I am Italian-restaurant-or-diner-for-lunch serious.

Me: Darn, there’s a troll in my way. They kill me with one swipe. Veg, why are you so worried about me writing on my blog?

Vegemite: The mustard says I smell bad and no one here likes me. I want you to tell the world it’s not true!

Me: Look, if the mustard says that again remind it that it’s full of blue cheese, which makes it smell not so awesome itself. Now be quiet, I need to concentrate on sneaking up on this troll.

Vegemite: It’s not just the mustard. The hot sauce has a major attitude and keeps talking about how important it is because you use it almost every day. You’ve only used me once.

Me: Cream cheese, cherry tomatoes, and Vegemite on hearty toast is delicious. Vegemite and fajita chicken… not so much. Arg… the troll saw me! RUN AWAY RUN AWAY RUN AWAY!

Vegemite: I don’t understand this game. Is your character supposed to spin around like that and fall on the ground? What’s a reloading screen?

Me: It’s what happens when you lose concentration because your condiments start talking to you.

Vegemite: Oh. Well, about that blog post…